It’s been one of those nights were I’m not really sure what’s going on…or like, where I am. Okay, or maybe even what day it is. Is that a sleep sign?
I don’t have this all figured out, and I have control of almost nothing. Not even my own emotions.
Whew. That felt good to admit.
I don’t know where I am, or why I am confused about work…
I’m having a terrible hair day & somehow dressing off of the floor again, resulted in an outfit the same palate as the forest service uniform.
Aaaaand, I’ve resorted to afternoon coffee for the 3rd day in a row. Not good.
I was watching the ants stream in and out of wherever it is they are so hurriedly going, while waiting for my coffee to brew this morning, and I noticed one little loner rushing back from whence he came all by his-self. Not only that, he made it a particular point to bump noses with each “other” that he crossed paths with. It was like text messaging, but in person. It only took a second, but he contacted everyone.
So is he like…the social organizer of the ant world? Does he retire his commission once he gets back to the ant hill?
Sometimes it helps to just sit in the dark with baked beans, potato salad and chocolate cake and make the world go away.
I feel tired, unimportant, useless, empty and alone. I’m not sure how to cope anymore. I’m back at this dark place; the place I dread the most. And I feel like I am no longer able to get out of it.
I’ve had moments where this sadness faded away and I was able to feel emotions that I thought had…
I really can empathize. I think it’s a certain kind of person that struggles with this…
OR: I just don’t think we’re compatible… I need someone more like Joanna Newsom. Plz forgive me? We can discuss this over a Red Stripe if that would make things easier.
Not that I’ve ever said something that vapid. But I did chuckle a little…
